Adam: i think all of our problems would be solved if they changed the “i” to “nice” Adam: “Nice raq” Adam: and then import swedish bikini models Adam: of course, that’s my answer to everything Adam: flat tire? import the swedish bikini team Kevin: well sure, us westerners would be into that Kevin: but what…
Month: November 2002
Holla Back
More often these days, when I listen to mainstream rap, I wish for the chance to confront some of those so-called rap superstars and ask them, “Don’t you ever get tired of running your mouth when you have absolutely nothing to say?”
Lack of Subtlety
I have a problem with that Cottonelle toilet paper commercial. It’s like 30 seconds of a bunch of people, young and old, shaking their asses at the camera. It’s just so wrong.
How Ironic
We all have our antisocial phases. I’ve been in a foul mood for well over a week now. I’ve pretty much wanted to stay in bed all this time and hang a “go screw yourself” sign on my bedroom door. Incidentally, I got a new cell phone this weekend…you know, so I can keep in…
You Should Be an English Major, Charlie Brown
It’s so hard concentrating on the words. Every time I sit down to study, I keep hearing Miss Othmar, Linus’ teacher, droning on with that muted trombone voice of hers. “Mwa mwa-mwa mwa mwa-mwa…“
So Dense
My antisocial tendencies are getting worse. Just today, I met up with a former classmate who wanted to return a book that I loaned her last quarter. I’ve always thought this girl was super cute, and I think she’s been aware of that. For today, we agreed to meet at the Mission Bakery Cafe on…
“Please, Call Me Osama”
A few months ago I was watching Dan Rather interview some US official about Osama bin Laden. At one point during the interview, Rather asked, “And if we were to capture Mr. bin Laden, how would we try him?” At that point, it took all my strength not to pull out a revolver and shoot…
Hey Mickey, Your Fly’s Open
As impressed as I am with the quality of animation in films, television shows, and video games these days, I do have a minor objection. I think the animators and art directors are trying way too hard to make the images as “realistic” as possible. By that, I don’t mean to say that the Final…
The Hazards of Unawareness
Few things make you feel more like an oaf than bandaging your finger and then scraping your knuckle while putting away the pack of Band-Aids, requiring you to bandage another finger.