On feeding days, whenever I throw in the usual portion of five crickets into my salamander tank, those apathetic amphibians of mine take their sweet time going after them. I guess when you’re adapted to hunting for food, having dinner provided every few days can get really old. Anyway, as a consequence of my pets’…
Month: September 2003
Proud to Be My Father’s Son
My Father: Who wants five hundred dollars? My Mother: Me. My Father: (holds up a Taiwanese 500 dollar bill) Divide it by 34. My Mother: (smacks my father) Sure, I had to wake up before noon today, but witnessing that exchange more than made up for it.
In Conversation with an Old Flame
“I hate men. I hate relationships. By their very design, you aren’t allowed to be happy in one.” I said nothing. “Tell me you’re single right now.” “I’m single right now.” “Tell me you would fall in love with me if I lived up north.” “It’s a distinct possibility.” “This isn’t an honesty question you…
Two Years Later
One thing that especially moved me on September 11, 2001 was the fact that a good deal of interview footage that aired on television that day went uncensored. I remember staying awake until 3 AM that night, watching the towers collapse from every angle, and hearing what New Yorkers had to say about the attack…
Toilet Politics
As I understand it, the unspoken rule mandates that handicapped stalls in public restrooms are off-limits so long as there are other stalls available. The rule makes sense, since you never know when a “differently abled” individual will enter the joint looking for a good place to tinkle. Sometimes, though, all the stalls are taken…
Defining Moments of My Friday Night Out
9:00pm: Isaac takes me aside the moment we arrive at The Blue Tattoo and orders us two Alizé and tonics and two Coronas. Being the whipping boys of the night, we toast to “designated drivers” and drink up. 10:12pm: Mel is good and liquored up by this time, and he starts in with all his…