So I walk into work at 5pm and start going about my business. A few minutes into my shift, the head store manager passes by my department and gives me a puzzled look. “I thought you were supposed to be in today at 5 in the morning,” she says. I’m struck by a sudden wave…
Year: 2003
The Words of the Prophets
The following is a reproduction of some of the more interesting bits of graffiti scrawled on a particular carrel in Santa Clara University’s Orradre Library: “I study here because I am afraid of people.” “I study here because I hate the world.” “I study here because I have to or I can’t play!” “SCANTRON NOFX!”…
Things I Realized This Weekend
Insomnia is my friend since lack of sleep apparently enhances my test-taking abilities. I took the LSAT without having been able to sleep at all the night before, and I think I did as well as I ever could have. When clubbing in San Francisco, you shouldn’t leave your Louis Vuitton scarf laying around unattended…
False Alarm
I spoke to my friend about the salamanders. As it turns out, two different species of salamanders are not able to reproduce. The eggs that Pinkerton laid, Nichole assures me, are duds. Freaking nature. It’s a wacky thing. Additional Update: I feel stupid for admitting this, but what I saw was definitely not an egg….
When Will Then Be Now?
Last month, I inherited two salamanders: Pinkerton, the fire salamander, and The Green Album, a spotted salamander (both affectionately named after Weezer album titles). I keep them in a tank lined with soil and moss. I’ve always liked Pinkerton more since she’s the only one of the two that I ever really see. The Green…
A Would-Be Poem
I’ve been using the same blog description from the very start: “Another would-be poet lost amid a sea of numbers.” When I first came up with it, I was still a junior accounting major who would have preferred to have majored in English instead. But being the son of Asian parents, I felt compelled to…
Tomorrow Will Be Too Late
On feeding days, whenever I throw in the usual portion of five crickets into my salamander tank, those apathetic amphibians of mine take their sweet time going after them. I guess when you’re adapted to hunting for food, having dinner provided every few days can get really old. Anyway, as a consequence of my pets’…
Proud to Be My Father’s Son
My Father: Who wants five hundred dollars? My Mother: Me. My Father: (holds up a Taiwanese 500 dollar bill) Divide it by 34. My Mother: (smacks my father) Sure, I had to wake up before noon today, but witnessing that exchange more than made up for it.
In Conversation with an Old Flame
“I hate men. I hate relationships. By their very design, you aren’t allowed to be happy in one.” I said nothing. “Tell me you’re single right now.” “I’m single right now.” “Tell me you would fall in love with me if I lived up north.” “It’s a distinct possibility.” “This isn’t an honesty question you…
Two Years Later
One thing that especially moved me on September 11, 2001 was the fact that a good deal of interview footage that aired on television that day went uncensored. I remember staying awake until 3 AM that night, watching the towers collapse from every angle, and hearing what New Yorkers had to say about the attack…