There are few greater sins in the tenets of romantic love than complacency. My lovely girlfriend, Diana, reminds me of this truth seemingly on a daily basis. Numerous times now during our six-year relationship, Diana has asked me to set aside my sarcasm and my obnoxious humor for one single blog post, and to proclaim my undying love for her in the sincerest possible way. Fair enough, my love.
Our relationship has had its fair share of tumultuous storms, but there’s never been a twister strong enough to tear us apart. It’s just too damn fun chasing those storms with Diana at my side. Truly, this is as good as it gets.
I don’t know if this ever comes through in my writing at all, but I can be something of a smartass on occasion. Diana has the patience of a saint to put up with all of the crap I give her. Sometimes I wonder why the Fates don’t just cast me away to a deserted place in order to impose upon me a sentence of lovelorn penance for the way I can sometimes treat her.
In truth, I am a lucky man, and I damn well know it. My love, you deserve so much more than a single blog entry. Darling, you deserve so much more than the moon and the stars, were I ever capable of giving them to you. If I could ever understand what women want, I would give it my all to give you all of it.
Gentle woman, I love you sincerely. I love you madly. Some might say that I’m “mad” about you. You are the Helen Hunt to my Paul Reiser. And if the story of our love were somehow filmed before a live studio audience and subsequently broadcast by a major American network with nearly 200 regional affiliates, we would dominate the ratings on Tuesday nights with the passion that inflames our synchronous hearts. For we are one, you and I, and nobody will deny the strength of our union — except perhaps during the fourth season of our love story, during which it is revealed that you kiss a colleague, and I in turn nearly kiss a colleague of my own. Yet our love shall persevere for a minimum of three additional years, for you and I have committed to each other that we will jump together, hand in hand, into the final frontier.
And though the network might make the mistake of changing the broadcast time of our love story to Monday nights for the seventh season — thus degrading our viewership ratings — our love shall persevere. Onwards we shall roam, paying it forward as we go. I love you sincerely. I love you madly.
I love you, Helen Hunt.
Fuck you, asshole. I beg and beg you to do a SINCERE (look the word up, because you obviously have no clue what it means) tribute to the love you supposedly have for me, and instead you write one about Helen Hunt!?!? You suck ass.
Helen Hunt would have appreciated the irony…
Oh Kevin…. thats not very nice.
yes, lobotoblog agrees that Helen Hunt is a TOP BIRD !!
a bit like Gillian Anderson but less angular and more curvaceous
Any love that can withstand the mistake of changing the broadcast time of your love story to Monday nights for the seventh season, thus degrading your viewership ratings, is a love worth dying for.
By the way, any time I see Helen Hunt I think about that cheesy After School Special called Desperate where Helen’s character took a sniff of PCP and then jumped out the window.
I swear she yelled, “I can fly!” before she jumped but after watching the clip on YouTube I can see I invented that line since she never said it.
I could not agree more. Helen Hunt has truly shown me the way. I have never seen this “Desperate” After School Special that you speak of, but something tells me that I must track it down as soon as I possibly can.
Okay, wow, holy crap. I just saw the clip on YouTube. That is both horrifying and hilarious at the same time. Thank you, Cardiogirl, for bringing this to my attention!
That’s why I’m here — to bring attention to the obscure and useless facts of life. That clip is simultaneously hilarious and disturbing, isn’t it?