Complaints – Prosaic Shades of Gray

Busta Rhymes Owes Me Fifteen Dollars

Posted on February 7, 2014October 15, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)

Day 7: “Hint, hint”
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Back in 1996, I was a young kid in high school navigating the turbulent waves of adolescence when the now-legendary hip hop artist, Busta Rhymes, released his debut solo album, The Coming. This album was hot. There was a special quality to Busta’s music that made it strangely unifying among young fans of all different genres of music. I knew people my own age who swore they hated rap, but they couldn’t get enough of Busta’s first single, “Woo Hah!! Got You All in Check”.

How Bert and Ernie Let Big Bird Down

Posted on February 3, 2014October 15, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)

Day 3: “Temporary insanity”
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My childhood has long since passed, but I’m still carrying around a burden of anger and frustration that I’ve never taken the time to fully articulate. Yet despite all of those years of repression, my silence can no longer be contained. You see, I recently rediscovered the source of these negative feelings when I decided to re-watch the 1985 cinematic classic, Follow that Bird.

Getting Old is Fine

Posted on March 7, 2013October 13, 2022 by KZ

I admit, I might have grumbled once or twice about getting old ever since I turned thirty. As time goes on, it’s hard not to notice that my youth is swiftly becoming an artifact of the past. The music that once defined my formative years as a teenager is now being played on classic rock radio stations. The cartoons that I once loved as a child are now being “rebooted” by Hollywood into bloated, unwatchable, nostalgia-driven wank fests. Young people are using weird slang words like “YOLO”, and I have to resort to Google searches to understand what the hell they’re talking about.

KZ’s Very Un-Merry List of Christmas Music Complaints

Posted on December 17, 2012October 12, 2022 by KZ

I’d like to think of myself as a happy guy, but I do have to admit that I can occasionally be something of a Grinch. I did once say in a previous blog entry, “Santa Claus can go F himself in the A“. He still can, by the way. So maybe I am a Grinch. But you ought to know that this Grinch’s small heart has grown three sizes after hearing a chorus of earnest Whos singing in unison to welcome the Holiday season. That’s right, kids, it’s Christmas time.

Weapons of Jazz Destruction

Posted on March 20, 2012March 20, 2023 by KZ

As you might have guessed from my previous posts, I live in a neighborhood full of douchebags and assholes. Unfortunately for them, I am well versed in the ways of the asshole. Okay, that sentence came out kind of wrong. Let me try again. Unfortunately for the assholes in my neighborhood, I am well versed…

Things That Probably Only Bother Me

Posted on June 24, 2011October 11, 2022 by KZ

I might have only recently turned thirty years old this year back in the month of May, but I was a crotchety old man who was confused by the world long before I grew up to become the lame, overweight, khaki-wearing accountant who stands before you today. Although I’ve never been shy about voicing my…

Humbug to Those Yuletide Lies

Posted on December 24, 2010November 15, 2022 by KZ

Christmas has meant many different things to me over the years as my beliefs and worldview have changed. Yet there has been one constant which has always stayed with me ever since the age of nine: My contempt for Santa Claus. If I were a comic book super villain, my origin story would probably begin…

That’s Right, I Said “Boo”

Posted on September 27, 2010October 11, 2022 by KZ

With October nearly upon us, my thoughts inevitably turn to all things Halloween. I’ve resigned my fate to a month full of weekends visiting the holiday haunts. I’m also trying my best to reconcile those plans of mine to lose fifteen pounds, versus my expectations of eating fifteen pounds of chocolate over the next four…

Petty Grievances Continued

Posted on September 3, 2010October 11, 2022 by KZ

I guess it’s no secret that I like to complain. Sure, I’ve been known to build things up on occasion during upswings of optimism. But at heart, I’m just a cantankerous old crank who fixates on the tiniest of gripes — the pettiest of grievances. I am all too aware that the world is full…

Facking Fail

Posted on April 5, 2010October 11, 2022 by KZ

Just a while ago, a community outreach program in my resident city gathered a bunch of volunteers to paint over the graffiti in my neighborhood. The neighborhood was a better place for it, but I have to admit that I was little sad to say goodbye to the muralistic masterpiece behind my apartment building, which…