Call me a killjoy and a grump if you must, but my mind is made up. Birthdays are overrated. That’s not to say that I get down on anybody who actually enjoys celebrating their own birthday. Hell, everybody deserves a chance to celebrate themselves on occasion. Speaking for myself, though, I would be perfectly content if everybody would simply forget the fact that I was ever born on a specific date.
For as long as I can remember, I was never comfortable with the idea of people wishing me well on the day that I was born. It’s not as if I did anything noteworthy enough on my birth date thirty-something years ago to warrant everybody’s praise. Every asshole on the planet started breathing at one point or another. Why the hell does everybody have to bother me when the date of my first living breath rolls around every year? I know all of that attention comes from a place of love, but I honestly and sincerely kind of hate it.
The thing is, I don’t enjoy undeserved attention. If people are going to celebrate me, I would rather they did so because of something I accomplished. So I guess that begs the question, “What the hell have you accomplished lately, KZ?” To be frank with you, I haven’t made a noteworthy accomplishment in a very long time. I’m just a mundane man who lives his life in the most boring, ordinary way possible. I spend the majority of my days as a tedious accountant who dutifully trudges his way through each week towards the promise of a brief and unfulfilling weekend. Sometimes I write something worth a damn, but most of the time, I sit around and daydream about what it would be like if I were a more motivated writer. I guess I’m a dreamer who’s forgotten how to dream. And you know what? I don’t really care at the moment that my life is dull and boring as shit, because I’m actually kind of happy for once. Don’t ask me to explain it. I just am. There’s something comforting about the comfort of boredom. Anyhow, I’m not really accomplishing much right now, so why don’t you people go throw a party for somebody else?
If you’re still looking for an excuse to celebrate me on my birthday, could you do me a favor and leave a comment on this old blog post of mine back from June 2007? It’s a little grandiose in places, but it’s still one of my favorite pieces that I’ve ever written. I’m also convinced that nobody has ever read it.
Anyway, good day to you, friends. Today is just another day — as ordinary as yesterday and the day before. But who knows? Maybe this will be the day when I actually do something worth noting. Just maybe. Go get the party started without me, and I’ll stay right here and give it a try.
Since you insist.
Killjoy. Grump.
God, it felt good to finally say that.
Happy Tchaikovsky’s birthday KZ.
Everything everybody does can be considered mundane. Just got engaged? Well, guess how many millions of people have gotten engaged already before you did. Just had kids? I bet there are thousands of babies born in China alone every day. Graduated college? Hundreds of your classmates also graduated on that same day at the same college. Parties are a reason people use to get together and have fun. Without these “mundane” days such as birthday parties, you would never see certain people who tend to live far away or are always too busy to just hang out on a random Friday night. So stfu and let us use your birthday as an excuse to see our friends. You are SO selfish sometimes!