We’ve all heard people take the Lord’s name in vain. That kind of thing bothers some people, but it doesn’t get to me anymore. Whenever I hear somebody say “goddamnit” or mutter something like, “oh for Christ’s sake,” I’m more concerned about how that person is doing than I am about God’s feelings. God has a sense of humor. He can take it.
There is one form of blaspheming that throws me off, though. It’s when people say, “Jesus H. Christ.” I’ve always wondered where that H came from. It’s an abbreviation for Jesus’ fictional middle name, I suppose. But what is the rationale for adding that H to his name? First of all, “Christ” is Jesus’ title, not his last name. His last name, as we all know, is “of Nazareth.” But let’s assume for a moment that the inventor of the curse, “Jesus H. Christ” was aware of that. I suppose, then, that this person was just trying to be clever. “If I’m gonna blaspheme,” this culprit once must have said, “then I might as well add another syllable to the curse just to further the irreverence by that much more.” Henceforward, anybody who utters the phrase of the day is not just taking the Lord’s name in vain; they are flaunting their disrespect by invoking Jesus’ full name.
And that leads us to the next question: If Jesus had a middle name, what was it? The initial assumption is, it must stand for Hebrew. Jesus Hebrew Christ of Nazareth…sounds a little pretentious, don’t you think? Joseph was a simple carpenter and Mary seemed like a meek enough soul, so I doubt they’d go that route. But there aren’t too many other H names out there. Herman sounds wrong, as do Hugh, Howard, or Herbert. Trial and error guessing won’t get us very far, however. It would pay to use some more directed reasoning. In the end, I think the best insights can be found in Christmas carols. What about “Hark!” The Herald Angels Sing? Are you seeing the connection? Herald…Harold…hot damn, Jesus’ middle name must have been Harold. It makes perfect sense.
I think we’ve all learned a little something today. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get started on saying twenty rosaries of repentance before God reads this and spears a lightning bolt up my ass.
kev,
i don’t know what your had up your ass when you wrote this….but you are going to hell. you are not stopping at purgatory for a coffee break….you are going straight down to where the fires burn, and the devil shoves hot pitch forks up your ass.
Maybe Jesus H. Christ is a different person than the Jesus Christ you think people are referring to. So, if a person says “Jesus H. Christ,” they might be talking about someone else, and not using God’s name in vain.