Remember how I was telling you before about the merits of daydreaming during a boring conversation with your girlfriend? Today was one of those days when I had no choice but to space out during one of Diana’s endless rants about the hot summer weather. Diana had started off by complaining about the heat, but I noticed at some point that she had shifted gears, and she was now giving me shit for my “girly” appreciation for the television show, Glee. That was the point when I snapped back into focus with a new-found interest in the conversation. Gender politics is something of a hobby of mine.
Here’s how the conversation ended.
Kevin: I’m sorry, Diana. Were you saying something?
Diana: Yeah, I was just bitching about your feminism.
Kevin: So — you’re against the fact that I believe in the empowerment of women, and equality between the sexes?
Diana: Oh whatever, I was talking about your … fem-in-inity or whatever. It sounds like a made up word!
Kevin: No, it sounds like a real word which you happen to not know the definition of.
Diana: [Sprays Kevin with a water bottle, which is primarily used to discipline our cats]
Kevin: Jesus, woman. Use your words.
Diana: [Sprays Kevin again]
Kevin: You see? This is why you’re doomed to an eternity of earning $0.77 to every dollar made by a man in the workplace.
Diana: [Sprays Kevin one final time, and huffs away]
Kevin: Where are you going, Diana? Off to the kitchen to make me a delicious pie?
Diana: Asshole.
Kevin: Cherry, please.
Yes, I know. I’m a bad, bad man.
Screw you. You knew exactly what I meant. Just for that, I’m not even gonna try to pronounce other words correctly, such as fustrating and cypress. Yeah, red squiggle that all you want autocorrect… it’s staying!
Kevin, you are such an ass. I mean… Cherry? Really? You suck!
What’s wrong with Glee? Other than that adults like to watch teens have their sexscapades? It’s kinda creepy when you think about it. Even though most of them aren’t actually under 18, but it’s the thought. And I would have had her make me a dutch apple pie.