30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)
Day 13: “Incommunicado”
In the offices where I work, there is a motivational poster hung on a wall which has bothered me since the first day I saw it. I wish I had a better picture to offer to you, but the poster is located in an area where I really shouldn’t be taking pictures. The best I can do is post this low resolution image that I found online.
The poster says “COMMUNICATION” in bold letters, and it has some vapid, forgettable blurb written below about the value of listening to your teammates. The image in the center shows a track and field baton being passed from one runner’s hand to the other.
In general, I’m not much of a fan of motivational posters. I find them corny, condescending, and just the slightest bit insulting. But the what really gets me about this particular poster is that the “inspirational” imagery is completely mismatched to the “Communication” tagline.
In proper track and field relay racing, a team of runners will put in hours of training so that they can reach a point where communication is no longer necessary. Relay racing is about timing, and rhythms, and knowing exactly where you fit within the structure of the team. A large element of the sport is grabbing a baton on the run while you’re looking away from an approaching teammate, not staring deeply into his eyes while you reveal to him your hopes and dreams.
As a relay runner waiting to grab the baton, your job is to turn and run at precisely the right time with an outstretched arm held behind you once your teammate starts closing in on your position. If you and your teammate timed everything correctly, the baton should exchange hands with a minimal loss of running momentum.
True, relay racing requires an extraordinary amount of cooperation and trust among your teammates, but communication doesn’t even enter the picture when you’re caught up in the heat of a race.
I hate this poster so much. Who are you to tell me how to live my life anyway, poster? The day I listen to you will be the day when you get your shit together by properly aligning your visual metaphors with your written blurb.
Why doesn’t this bother my coworkers as much as it bothers me? Am I mad, or has the world just gone crazy?
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)
A painful exercise in forced inspiration brought to you by
“We Work for Cheese“
Easy. The world has gone crazy. But we still need a job so we ignore weird shit like this poster.
I’ve often found inspirational posters to be judgmental, arrogant and ignorant. They’re scum, basically, and they should all be burned.