While roaming the streets of coastal Bay Area town one weekend, I spotted a delivery van for a seafood distribution company with a particularly terrible marketing slogan painted on its side:
“Our Quality…is Your Reputation”
Ugh. Grammatically speaking, the ellipsis (those triple dots, “…”) can be used to either insert a pause into a statement, to trail off thoughtfully from an unfinished point, or to indicate that a word or a phrase has been intentionally omitted from the original text. In the context of this slogan, there really isn’t a legitimate grammatical reason to use the ellipsis as a pause. “Our quality is your reputation” is all that needs to be said, so why bother breaking up the rhythm of the sentence? Dramatic tension? Anybody who would be even remotely excited and titillated by this cheesy and grammatically deficient sentence structure would have to be living a sad and bankrupt life marked with loneliness, light jazz, and a surplus of knit booty socks for the legs of their end tables.
Having said that, I have no choice but to conclude that something has been omitted from the original slogan. My question then becomes, “What exactly does this company have to hide?” They’re clearly hiding something, judging by that guilty looking ellipsis staring at you from the midst of all that italicized intrigue. The following is a list I created of some of the possibilities for the original slogan.
- Our Quality, Motherfuckers, is Your Reputation
- Our Quality, Mein Führer, is Your Reputation
- Our Quality, Lord Xenu, is Your Reputation
- Our Quality, Emperor Kahless, is Your Reputation
- Our Quality, You Dirty Minorities, is Your Reputation
- Our Quality Fish Flavored Soylent Green is Your Reputation
- Our Quality Crack-Laced Crab Cakes is Your Reputation
- Our Quality Four Dollar Hooker Service is Your Reputation
- Our Quality “Happy Ending” Massage Program Involving Fish is Your Reputation
- Our Quality Control Program, “Leave No Dead Fish Unfucked”, is Your Reputation
I’ll be polite and stop it there. But you have to admit, it’s kind of fun dreaming up all of the possibilities for the original slogan. Submit one of yours in the comment box today! You’ll be glad you did. Hell, you might even be included as a defendant in the inevitable defamation lawsuit coming my way. That’ll be an interesting day.
Note: The moral of the story is to never use the ellipsis irresponsibly unless you’re prepared to live with the consequences.
Our Quality of fish, which did not pass standards set by food control authorities, and which has been the leading cause of death in third world countries, is your reputation.
There, that’s my take on those ellipsis
Our Quality Fishnut Let Me Crazy is Your Reputation
Ellipsis aside, why is THEIR quality MY reputation? I am not OK with that.
I guess my post could have benefited from a better explanation. I spotted that slogan on the side of a delivery van for a seafood distribution company which caters to local restaurants. If you’re a restaurant owner, then your reputation depends heavily on the freshness and quality of your ingredients.
Do you have enough pet peeves Kev? lol
Our Quality…is OUR Reputation????
Fish takes offense to all the negative fish remarks (not really).
Dude. Those quotations are hilarious.
This was a…how would you say…interesting post.
I am glad that I started my morning by reading this because it brought merriment and jovial laughter to what might have been an otherwise unpleasant and depressing day. Thank you for the smile and starting the day off right!
My first response to the slogan was the same as Katie. There is no reason that their quality should have any effect on my reputation. I have nothing to do with this company and I don’t need them to bring me down with their irresponsible use of fish and ellipsis.
The ellipsis are indeed grammatically useless in this instance; however, the graphic designer who designed the stationary and put the ill-worded slogan on the truck might have wanted to space the two sentence fragments further apart for better readability and thought that a bunch of dots in between would do the trick.
Or, it could be intended to be read by the workers of the fish company. The company is trying to guilt the workers into doing what they are paid to be doing.
But my explanations pale compared to Kevin’s astute observations.
Our Quality, or lack thereof, is your reputation. (You poor bastards)
I think that is my take on this. 🙂
Miss you guys in CA.