30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2013)
Day 16: “Music”
Winning Without Trying
Originally posted November 3, 2010
Recently one weekend, while Diana and I were driving home after running some errands, we got into the usual argument over which radio station we were going to listen to. At some point, I relented and let Diana choose the music. Even though Diana eventually got her way, I’d still like to think I came out ahead during this particular exchange. This was the day when I won without even trying.
It all started with Bob Marley’s “No Woman, No Cry”. I was flipping around the stations when I landed on that particular song. Once I recognized the tune, I drew my hand away to reach back for the steering wheel, and I started to sing softly to myself. I freaking love that song. Diana dislikes Bob Marley, and I know it. “Fuck it,” I thought to myself. “She already vetoed that 2Pac song because she hates rap. I’m going to ride this one out until Diana starts to bitch.” It didn’t take her long. As I recall, it took her twenty seconds.
“Ugh, I hate Bob Marley,” Diana grumbled, and she started to poke the radio dial.
“Jesus,” I said, “how can you hate Bob Marley so much, that you’ll never let me enjoy one of his songs from start to finish? Is he really that bad?”
“I just don’t like Bob Marley.”
“Goddamn, Diana. You’re so white. Why don’t you go listen to some White Zombie? Or how about some White Town? Remember them? ‘I could never be your woman’? Man, that’s a good song. I bet you like that song, too. You know, because you’re so freaking white.”
Diana is a Caucasian broad. Sometimes the arguments get racial. They just have to. It’s all in good fun, though. Honest.
“Why don’t you shut the hell up, China?” Diana retorted.
See? Things just got racial again. It’s just what we do.
“You know, Diana, I’d accuse you of being a Barry White fan if I thought Barry White were white enough for you. Alas, he doesn’t quite make the cut.”
At this point, Diana stopped acknowledging me. During the six-plus years that Diana and I have been dating, I have come to understand this silent gesture of hers as an invitation to volley more of my incessant, insufferable bullshit. Diana sure has a funny way of encouraging discourse. She’s lucky that she found a guy who can read between the lines.
“Hey Diana, what are you looking for on the radio? Something by the White Stripes, perhaps? Maybe a ditty by the Plain White T’s?”
Eventually, Diana stopped the radio dial on the classic rock station. Typical, huh?
I paused a moment to listen to the music. It was some 1980’s rock and roll bullcrap — inadequate, though distressingly memorable in a bad kind of way. This was one of those songs that I had heard many times before, but I’d never bothered to identify the title or the artist.
“Who is this?” I asked. “Fucking Whitesnake or something? It would be just like you to pass up Bob Marley for Whitesnake.”
Diana had finally had enough. “Give me your phone,” she demanded, and she shoved her upturned palm right beneath my chin.
One of the more useful apps on the iPhone is Shazam, a program that allows you to identify the title and the artist of a song that is currently playing. Implicitly, Diana was asking me to hand her my phone so that she could tag the song. I reached into my pocket and obliged her.
Diana fiddled with my phone for about thirty seconds. Then, in a voice that was just barely audible, I heard her hiss, “Oh, fuck you.”
It was Whitesnake. Of course it was! Some days, you just win without even trying.
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2013)
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Even though I like Whitesnake, I still thought this was funny. Of course, I’m with you in that I’d rather listen to Bob Marley…although Whitesnake with Steve Vai is hard to pass up. Um, yes, I’m white, why do you ask? 😉
I was a little hard on Whitesnake in this post, wasn’t I? I’m glad you and I can find some common ground with Bob Marley though.
You know I didn’t know very many of those “white” groups. I don’t exactly know what that says – becaue I’m white, you know.
It’s just the circle of life, Dufus. Give me another ten years, and I’m sure I won’t be able to name you a single band that “the kids” listen to.
This is a great story. My hubby and I can’t listen to the radio in the car – he is constantly flipping channels and changing mid-song. We turned it into a game one time so that we could see who could name the song the fastest. He always wins, mostly because I stopped trying years ago.
Hah! If Diana and I were to ever play that game, I’m fairly sure I would win a bunch as well.
We’ve played that game before, too. Mostly we don’t listen to the radio in the car unless it’s Rock. I don’t like NPR.
I love NPR. Diana thinks I am the most boring person in the world because of that.
What? A repost? I’m a little disappointed KZ. While my post is lame and not hysterically funny like this one is, at least it isn’t a repost. 🙂
I have been properly chastised, Nicky. I’ll try to keep it all original for the rest of February. 🙂
Hah! You two are funny. When it comes to M and I, I’m usually the one who wins. Actually, “usually” is wrong; I ALWAYS win. 😉
The power dynamic is always different in every relationship. The one thing that seems to be universally constant is the endless bickering over what music to listen to.
Hey KZ! Nobody likes my taste in music, so perhaps I’m lucky to drive alone most of the time. No? Hmmm, you’re right… I’d prefer the company =) Indigo
Point taken, my friend. Maybe there’s some room to compromise between Diana and me. I will, however, continue to draw the line at Whitesnake. You don’t pass up Bob Marely for Whitesnake.
AH HA HA HA! The woman who sits next to me in my cubie is a whitesnake person, I believe. I never was… actually couldn’t tell you what they sang! I pictured this whole story…. that is how you know when the writing is especially amazing!
High praise from the queen of the funny anecdote! Thank you kindly Katherine. I’m glad you got a kick out of it.
Maybe for the sake of diplomacy, you won’t want to mention this blog post to your coworker.
People listen to Whitesnake? I didn’t even think they did back then. You hang with some whack people. 😉
Haha don’t I know it, Mariann.
As somebody who loves 80s rock (and, for the record, I like Bob Marley, too), I would have totally been rocking to that song. Still love it. 🙂
Aw, now I almost feel bad for coming down so hard on Whitesnake. Almost. 😉
We all like what we like, P.J. In all honesty, I don’t really have a problem with Whitesnake or that song, “Here I Go Again”. I just don’t have the same appreciation as you do for all things 80’s.