The human skull is s a sight to behold, with its hollowed eyes and the curious arrangement of teeth that lock it into a perpetual grin. When most people see a skull, their thoughts immediately turn to death and to an intangible feeling of loss. But whenever I see one, I feel a renewed sense…
Year: 2003
No More Poetry
A few minutes before my audit class began, I heard, above the chattering classroom banter, one of my female classmates proudly exclaim, “I hate poetry.” I glanced over once she said it, saw her sincere little grin, and I could tell she really meant it. It’s moments like this one that remind me why I…
The Truest Things I Heard All Weekend
“What if you fell in love with a girl, but later you found out that she was really a guy? Could you stay in love with the person while knowing that? Probably not. And you know what that says about love? It’s bullshit.” (said to a table of four) “You know what we should do?…
Don’t I Know You?
Today, during a conversation with my classmate, Juan, I discovered that he and I met a while back through a mutual friend named Mike Chang. Juan seemed so sure of his story, and he insisted so convincingly, that I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I’d never met this Mike Chang. It’s no…
Possum Attack
There’s a possum loose in my backyard. Normally I wouldn’t really stress about that kind of thing; but lately, the pest has really been getting to me. It sucks having to clean up the messes it makes. It raids my trashcans and smears everything across the ground—and scooping up its droppings isn’t all that fun…
Moral Continuity
Jack: If a guy ever attempts to turn your attention to his exposed scrotum, you should kick him… and kick him hard. There’s no excuse for that.Kevin: what if it’s a chick with exposed breasts?Jack: Then you express your sincere gratitude and do your thing.Kevin: ah yes, the double standardJack: No, it’s not a double…
Absolutely Nothing
All over campus I see people walking around with handwritten signs attached to their backpacks that read, “NO WAR.” Now I’m not a big fan of Bush’s calls for war myself, but I find it hard to take these silly little signs seriously. To be fair, I do respect the people that bear these…
Smoke From All Around
I’m sick of hearing about sports fans that riot after a big game. Are people’s lives so bankrupt that they feel the need to break shit every time a major sporting event comes to an end? I don’t know what the situation was like in Tampa Bay, but I do know that, after the Super…
Click on This Directionless, Unsolicited Link Now!
I’m really amused by pop-up ads that ask, “Don’t you hate pop-ups?” It’s fun to pretend that those little bastards are actually on our side, and that they’re doing us a favor by defecting and selling out their buddies. Let’s be honest: there’s really no lower form of life than the pop-up traitor.
Oversensitive
It’s definitely diet time. Since August, I’ve gained about fifteen pounds, which hasn’t made me feel all that great. But just a few days ago, my mother noticed that I look “rounder in the face.” That comment was all it took to guilt me back into exercising again. When your own mother calls you a…