‘Despair or folly?’ said Gandalf. ‘It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not. It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, though as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope. Well, let folly be…
Year: 2003
Most Memorable Things That Were Said This Week
“Sex is a normal part of the human experience. We all want it. We all need it. Now I’m not saying I’m human, but that’s how I advocate the human experience. (after being told that mamae is a variation of “mother” in Portuguese) “God I know. It’s so obvious. It’s not like I thought it…
At Least I’ll Have Tangoed at All
Apparently somebody I know has a thing for me. Either that, or somebody suspects that I have a crush on him or her. This is the third time in the past two years that I’ve received a notification from a secret admirer site. Now what I want to know is, who the heck keeps marking…
Wow
Lawmakers on Capitol Hill are pushing hard to make changes that really matter. Their latest successful effort: renaming food items on House cafeteria menus. French fries are now “freedom fries,” and French toast henceforth shall be known as “freedom toast.” The repercussions of this public snubbing will be felt for years to come. Good job,…
So Not Punk Rock (An Homage to Sarah B.)
Friend: now i get so damn repulsed Friend: i look through clothing catalogues and go to stores and punk is all trendy Friend: it sickens me Friend: really, it does Kevin: not sure i know what punk is about, but i know what you mean Friend: well, were you ever punk? Kevin: if you consider…
Songs for Sale
The state of commercialism reached a new low recently when Victoria’s Secret started to run a lingerie ad featuring Bob Dylan’s “Love Sick.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t immediately think of sex and seduction when I think of that guy. But what’s worse than this questionable juxtaposition of Dylan and scantily clad…
A Thought on Dental Care
My dental hygienist is always giving me crap for not flossing well enough. Every time she’s scraping away with her instruments, she’ll comment that my gums are bleeding and that I should be making a better effort to floss. Well Debbie, did it ever occur to you that I might be bleeding because you’re tickling…
Poor Jiminy
Would you call me twisted if I told you that I sing “When You Wish Upon a Star” every time I feed my frog a cricket?
A Happy Ending?
It took some searching, but I finally found her. That’s one less regret I have to worry about in life. Whether this will lead to a renewed friendship, nobody can know for sure. But at the very least, I’ve been given my second chance, and I’m thankful for that much.
Dearest Wendy,
I met her at a high school mixer at the age of sixteen. She was far too shy to approach me herself, so her friends stepped in (ignoring her pleas to let it be) and asked if I’d dance with her. I accepted, and they introduced me to Wendy. She was soft-spoken, yet insightful—sweet, but…