When Will Then Be Now?

Last month, I inherited two salamanders: Pinkerton, the fire salamander, and The Green Album, a spotted salamander (both affectionately named after Weezer album titles). I keep them in a tank lined with soil and moss. I’ve always liked Pinkerton more since she’s the only one of the two that I ever really see. The Green Album, being a spotted salamander, has a propensity for burrowing into the soil and staying hidden. Nobody had ever sexed the salamanders for me, so I didn’t know for sure if I was dealing with two males, two females, or a mixed pair. Seeing as how they belong to different species, though, I figured none of that really mattered. You can see where this story is heading, I’m sure.

Over the past month, I thought Pinkie was merely fat and overfed thanks to her previous owner. But tonight, Pinkerton left a large gray sac floating in the water dish, which I can only assume contains a crapload of salamander eggs. Needless to say, I was blown away. It wasn’t overly surprising to learn that Pinkie is a female, nor was it all that odd to find out that she had been impregnated by a male of a different species. What did surprise me was the fact that Pinkie actually got it on with Greenie. I mean come on, Pinkie…he’s totally not your type. He broods all day in his hole and pouts during every meal.

Right. Anyway, I’m freaking out. I’m so not the kind of person that ought to be caring for animals to begin with, but what the hell am I going to do with 10-20 baby salamander mutts skittering around in this modest tank of mine? From what I’ve read, the eggs hatch “soon” after they’ve been laid. Way to provide me with useful information, fucking internet. It’s too early in the morning to call her now, but I’m hoping that Nichole, my pet shop friend, will be able to help take the eggs off my hands. If not, then what? Am I supposed to throw the eggs away? That seems really harsh somehow.