“Only in San Francisco” Moments

Priceless experiences outside the classroom.

• People actually stopping me to ask for directions when I’m obviously lost at all times. Get a clue, people. I might as well have “tourist” or “mug me” tattooed on my face.
• Witnessing a man in a collared shirt and tie taking a leak while he stood on a high-traffic sidewalk.
• Being pressured into getting my shoes polished by an old black dude named Curtis. He saw me walking by in my Skechers, and he went in for the kill when he smelled my weakness. I talked him down to 4 dollars, but I paid him the full 7 after he told me about trying to make rent. Suckered.
• Being approached by a crazy homeless guy who just assumes people understand the random shit he comes up with. I’m headed towards the BART station, and this guy comes up to me and points to an old lady sitting on a bench. “She won’t let people sit there because of the Beverly Hill Billies eating lunch.” he said. “Really? Why’s that?” I asked. And he laughed conspiratorially and looked at me with expectation, as if waiting for me to acknowledge that he and I were in on the joke. I just smiled and walked on.
• Arriving at my school for the first time and noticing that, on a wall in a courtyard a little across the way, somebody had tagged the word “VEGAN.” Dude, you know? Talk about politicizing your eating preferences.