One night around midnight I heard a bird chirping in the backyard. Given the time of night, I found this kind of strange, so I ran a Google search for “Why do birds sing at night?” I came across this Reddit thread in which the original poster (OP) asks, “Why are so many birds chirping…
I was driving my daughter home from school one afternoon when she asked me a question I wasn’t expecting from a six-year-old. “Daddy,” she said, “Am I going to die?” I had mentioned something about death to my daughter a few days prior while answering some other question of hers. Whatever I said, I guess…
I was in the office restroom washing my hands when the water pressure failed, and the sink started to sputter water. For half a moment my heart sank, and panic washed over me as I began to wonder whether this was a sign that California’s drought-stricken reservoirs had finally dried up. Then the water pressure…
The secret to leading a happy life in the First World is learning how to compartmentalize the trivial and the mundane from the terrifying and the consequential, and regarding them with equal importance. It saves you the trouble of twisting yourself into knots out of existential dread or the perpetual empathetic agony that comes with the realization that at every moment of every day, people are suffering.
It’s been a little over a week since I’ve learned the news that Nicky has passed away. She was gorgeous, kind, full of warmth and wit, and devastatingly funny. She was one of two writers who updated and maintained a humor blog called We Work For Cheese. Nicky was my friend. I miss her dearly.
Yep, KZ’s still got it.
A few days ago, I was browsing the glass counter display at a dessert shop when the friendly young woman working behind the counter asked me if I needed any help. I was having a hard time deciding what I wanted, so I asked her for a recommendation. “If you had a choice between the…
Often times when I’m alone with my own thoughts, I find it hard to relax and just enjoy my free time without feeling guilty that I’m not doing something more constructive with my life. It must be residual guilt from my younger days as a student.
Don’t get me wrong, I find plenty of time to waste my time. I play an excess of video games, I watch hours of YouTube, I shop online for deals on paintball gear, and I browse Reddit like it’s a second job. There are plenty of things I enjoy doing when I find some quiet time, but they all inspire this pervasive sense of guilt within me for not doing more with my life.
GOD: You fault me for my lack of intervention?
KEVIN: Of course.
GOD: Just a moment ago, you told me that God should let His children live their own lives.
KEVIN: In an ideal universe, even the most aloof and irresponsible deity would take at least some measures to stop his children from hating and killing each other…
This is a conversation about Ben.
“Jesus, what motivates somebody to shoot himself in the head?”
“I suppose some people’s lives just suffer a deficit of meaning.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly.”
“I’m about to shoot myself in the head if you keep that shit up.”