Kevin: that’s what happens when you distract me at work 😛 Casey: Kevin: that’s what happens when i drink white russians at work Casey: fixed Kevin: i’m lactose intolerant Kevin: i’d do better with black russians Casey: that’s racist Kevin: so by your line of thought, would that mean i blow white guys from russia…
Author: KZ
An Abundance of Petty Grievances
Every November on Thanksgiving Day, misty-eyed Americans reflect on all of the reasons that they have to be thankful for being alive. Sometimes on days like today, I feel a little guilty giving thanks for everything that’s going right in my little corner of the world when there is so much human suffering to be…
There’s a City Full of Walls You Can Post Complaints At
“One day, when I was quite young,” my friend Wendy once wrote, “I saw a graffittied stop sign saying, ‘stop thewar,’ and I spent two days trying to figure out what thew ar was.” Wendy’s recollection has always reminded me of a story of my own. One day at the age of thirteen, I was…
See? The Flagpin on the Lapel Paid Off…
The surest way to attract derision on the internet is to express a strong opinion about politics. I’ve kept this blog fairly apolitical for a variety of reasons, but mainly because I just don’t feel like pissing off my friends and picking fights with strangers. To fully understand what I mean, I invite you to…
The Most Sarcastic Jack-o-Lantern in the World
One October, twenty-something years ago, I was a five-year-old boy sitting at the kitchen table staring at a pumpkin. By the end of the night, I would have a jack-o-lantern to call my own. There was no such thing as a child-friendly pumpkin carving knife in the early 1980s, so the most that I was…
Ghosts and Goblins and Go-Go Poles
I give in. After four years of dating my girlfriend, I’ve come to accept a simple truth: Octobers belong to Diana. Because Halloween is her favorite time of year, Diana always insists on packing our October weekends with Halloween-related activities. We spend a lot of time watching terrible and tedious horror movies, carving pumpkins, shopping…
Cross
Hands, they betray me like dissident fiends disrupting the gradual flow and how they sting with each frosted touch cold tips, those mocking digit spears all comfort shooting pains in veins inflamed knuckles reeling protruding in rhythmic vibraphone time like a rippling wave through a crooked spine.
Fear Into Pieces
A common age and a common name, how low we bow to common pains, the like mistakes dictated by complacency, familiar trembling aches decaying the root of reason, the tides of time sweeping swooning plops ashore in granite rhythm sea of the wincing stewards of change Past we roll, oblivious to the bloody sky on…
Where’s the Bear Today?
A few years back, from 2002 – 2006, I maintained a modest website called SantaBearCam. It was a novelty website premised on a silly gimmick: on a daily basis, I would post a new picture of my stuffed animal, Santa Bear. Don’t ask me why, but my friends considered this project more amusing than disturbing,…
Same Show, Different Stage
Yeah, it’s been over a year since my last post. Yes, this is my first official post on the new incarnation of my blog. Check the new digs, man. I’ve finally got the dot-com credibility to back up my feeble words. So where have I been for the past year and two months? I’ve been…