Call me a killjoy and a grump if you must, but my mind is made up. Birthdays are overrated. That’s not to say that I get down on anybody who actually enjoys celebrating their own birthday. Hell, everybody deserves a chance to celebrate themselves on occasion. Speaking for myself, though, I would be perfectly content…
Category: Friendship
With Friends Like These…
On Thursday afternoon, my friend, Joie, sent me a text message to ask me how I was faring with my bum leg. I wrote out a transcript of the conversation below. As you will soon discover, both Joie and I are absolute delights. Joie: Hey gimpy. How’s the foot? Hope you’re not in too much…
The B-Day Supreme
Friday the 10th was Joie’s birthday. She asked all of her friends not to buy any gifts for her this year. She did, however, encourage us to put forth some creative effort and to make something for her if we truly felt compelled to give her a present. On Friday night, two hours before I…
Lessons Learned from a Broken Blog
I broke my blog late last week while attempting to enhance the layout template. At the lowest point, my homepage was taking twelve agonizing seconds to load, and the comment box would send you to a blank error page when you clicked the submit button. The worst of it, though, came when I rushed through…
The Kind of Conversations I Have While I’m Not Writing
Kevin: so what’s up with you? Casey: went for a jog Kevin: wow, at 3 in the morning? safe neighborhood? Casey: our township is rated one of the safest in the US lol Casey: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canton_Township,_Michigan Casey: Based on statistics reported to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Canton was the nation’s 20th safest municipality with a…
I Am Not Him, But He Is Me
Some friendships are meant to be remembered, and some are easily forgotten. But then there are some friendships that have a way of inflicting themselves on you. They grasp you by your guilty obligations, your quiet frustrations. Private notions of loyalty and compassion degrade over time, varnished by a silenced eternity of stifled resentment. These…
Where’s the Bear Today?
A few years back, from 2002 – 2006, I maintained a modest website called SantaBearCam. It was a novelty website premised on a silly gimmick: on a daily basis, I would post a new picture of my stuffed animal, Santa Bear. Don’t ask me why, but my friends considered this project more amusing than disturbing,…
The State of Friendship
I’ve never been fond of final goodbyes. Everybody always insists on brightening their parting words with lofty optimism and half-hearted promises. It’s a ritualized dance of mutually understood pretense that facilitates graceful exits. To acknowledge the truth is to create opportunities for awkward guilt and self-reflection. And so we lie to our departing friends, and…
An Image that Nobody Wants in Their Head
Tara: my birthday’s coming!!! Kevin: yay, me too Tara: eh mine’s first Tara: muahahaha Kevin: <–taller Tara: <==== can still take you DOWN Kevin: <–wearing an iron stomach guard! Tara: ew Kevin: what? it’s armor that prevents you from tickling or poking me. Tara: i dunno i just pictured it and it was gross Kevin:…
Rivers Cuomo I Am Not
My Friend: you know i’m confused about why you’re wearing glasses in the picture on your blog when you don’t wear glasses at all….unless you’re trying to look emo. they make your nose look weird Kevin: just to make me look smart Kevin: not emo My Friend: oh right Kevin: it was really the only…