30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2013)
Day 7: “Texting”
Note to Challenge Participants: Today’s entry is slightly crude. I mention this now in case you’re easily offended, or if you’re looking for an excuse to click away.
I was tempted to repost my Mirror Universe entries for today’s “Texting” prompt, but then I remembered that I’ve been sitting on a gem of a text messaging story for over three years now.
One night back in January 2010, my buddy from Minnesota, Conrado, initiated a text message conversation with me while I was resting lazily at home in my cozy California apartment. Little did I know that this transamerican text message conversation would turn out to be my all-time favorite SMS correspondence in which I was a participant. All these years later, I still have the conversation saved on my phone. Here’s how it went.
Conrado: I’m looking at a girl who looks like you. She’s really hot too. It’s kinda weird.
Kevin: But oh so right. Hit on her?
Conrado: No. She’s singing karaoke outside my group. It’s weirding me out though.
Kevin: Take a picture?
Conrado: Haha. I’ll try. I’ll send it if I do.
A few minutes later, Conrado sent me a picture via SMS. It was a photo of his buddy happily posing alongside an attractive girl whom I am assuming must have been the only Asian woman in Minnesota at the time. Whatever skepticism I might have initially had about this girl’s resemblance to me completely vanished as soon as I saw the picture. She really did look like me. Her features were softer, and her chin was sharper and a bit more delicate, but she really looked like a hot female KZ.
Conrado: Funny how we got this picture.
Kevin: Nice dude! Would it be wrong of me to whack off to this picture?
Conrado: No! In fact, it would be wrong if you don’t.
Kevin: I’ll tell you all about it?
Conrado: 🙂
Kevin: It was a little weird with Diana in the room, but I got it done. That was some good doppleganger fantasy sex.
Conrado: If I could have added tentacles to the picture, I would have.
Technology has really taken us somewhere, hasn’t it? As far as I’m concerned, the culmination of modern-day technological research and scientific discovery amounts to this very conversation between Conrado and me spanning thousands of miles, and happening in real time. Lord knows, all of that inconsequential filth might have gone unsaid, and the world would have been a much poorer place in the balance.
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2013)
A painful exercise in forced inspiration brought to you by
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Gee, I hope you didn’t get any on the phone.
I’m much too classy to let that kind of thing happen.
Hmmm. I didn’t know there was such a thing as “good doppleganger fantasy sex” until now. Nice.
You’ve been missing out, my friend. Go find a sexy doppleganger, and you’ll see what I mean.
I’m not offended. But I wish I could unread what I just read.
🙂
It’s stuck in your head forever!
Interesting way to look at texting. All of us ladies are now looking at your “about” picture and … i’ll be back…
Hehe no doubt you’ve run off to print the image so that you can draw long hair and lipstick on it. That will pretty much give you the full effect of what my doppleganger looked like.
I see no photos. Not believing this until I see proof.
Believe me, I was tempted to post the picture with a little black bar over the girl’s eyes, but it just would have been too creepy of me to do so. How can I go posting people’s pictures when I don’t have their permission to do so?
Hah!! Priceless. You’ve given me a whole new appreciation for texting.
I’m glad I’ve been able to broaden your appreciation then! A little bit of sarcasm and rude humor can really go a long way.
Boys and their toys… 😉
I so totally want to read this as a double entendre…
Our poor challenge is degenerating quickly … and we are not even halfway through the month!
BTW I keep reading your blog title as “Fifty Shades of Grey” – some sort of snafu going on in my mind ~
I take full responsibility for dragging down the standards of our writing challenge. As for the blog title, “shades of gray” is a pretty common turn of phrase. I had to expect that, eventually, something like “Fifty Shades of Grey” would come along and steal my oh-so-quiet thunder. The funny thing is, I regularly get website visits from people running Google searches for that book.
Um… well, errrr…
HAPPY PLACE… I NEED TO GO TO THE HAPPY PLACE… NO MORE TEXTING EVER … AHHHHHH
Just like I told Shawn, it’s stuck in your head forever now!
LOL! OMG that is just wrong.
I know, right? Who posts this vulgar crap online? Oh wait…
I wasn’t there but I remember when this happened! However I was not aware of the entire conversation that took place. Conrado doesn’t text ‘n tell I guess. And he better not have “hit on her”.
But Katie, it would have been okay if Conrado had hit on her. You see, Conrado and I are bros, so it would have been the same thing as hitting on me, which is totally acceptable among bros. Feel better now?
For the record, he didn’t hit on her. I should know. Half of me was there in that karaoke bar that night.
Mmmhmm. BTW, my avatar is the creepiest of all.
You could always register with Gravatar and assign yourself a universal avatar. I’m not pushing too strongly for that, though, since I kind of like your ugly monster avatar.
Oh goodness. She looked so much like you. It was funny because no one was really talking to her but as soon as we asked for a pic then this guy had his arm on her. Treat girl KZ with respect, dude! Not just when you’re afraid of losing her.
If you liked Girl KZ, then you should have put a ring on it.
Wait, WHAT?! You’re a guy. Oh man, now *I* feel weird. Roth
When I first started up a blog, I had a dream of disenchanting as many readers as humanly possible. It looks like my dream is starting to come true.
Hilarious! You know what makes me feel good? The fact that Katie’s avatar is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. It is uglier than mine, if that is possible.
It’s definitely possible. Just the thought of my avatar keeps me awake at night. Yours is fine, it looks like a brownie with bunny ears.