Sorry for the silence, friends. I haven’t been in the proper state of mind lately to post something worth reading up here. After this kind of dry spell lasts for more than two weeks, I start to get nervous. I feel like a desperate rent-a-clown at a children’s party scrambling to put on a show…
The Unnecessary…Ellipsis
While roaming the streets of coastal Bay Area town one weekend, I spotted a delivery van for a seafood distribution company with a particularly terrible marketing slogan painted on its side: “Our Quality…is Your Reputation” Ugh. Grammatically speaking, the ellipsis (those triple dots, “…”) can be used to either insert a pause into a statement,…
I Am Not Him, But He Is Me
Some friendships are meant to be remembered, and some are easily forgotten. But then there are some friendships that have a way of inflicting themselves on you. They grasp you by your guilty obligations, your quiet frustrations. Private notions of loyalty and compassion degrade over time, varnished by a silenced eternity of stifled resentment. These…
The Unpleasantness of Pleasantries
Frankly, I don’t care how you’re doing. I know the feeling is mutual. Why does every conversation have to begin with the inane ritual of each party asking the other how they are doing? It’s a question that we ask to establish some phony sense of rapport, but we all know it’s meaningless and…
The Evolutionary Shaft
Who do you suppose it was in history who first looked at a horse and thought to himself: “Hey, that animal’s strength, size, and general demeanor would make that creature the perfect beast of burden.”? “Just look at it!” this opportunist must have said to himself. “That animal’s back is perfectly contoured to form a…
Who Decides the Test of What Is Really Best?
All I really have to say this Christmas is this: Santa Claus is a dick. As you may already know, I believe that the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer strikes the wrong tone for the holidays, and it sends entirely the wrong message. The Rankin/Bass animated Christmas special based on that story doesn’t fare…
Heroes – Season Suck
Guest Contribution by Zhenia Reprincev Heroes is back, and with a vengeance! The new storyline will be riveting, the action scenes thick with excitement, and more villains galore! ‘Tis the release of Season Three: VILLAINS! The TV show “Heroes” is perhaps one of the most widely-known programs on national television, especially after its sharp rise…
She Can Play with My Kombolói Any Day
Casey: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/12/2008_greek_riots.html Kevin: damn, that’s nuts Kevin: compelling pictures Casey: too bad they didn’t put the phone number for hot protester chick in #7 Kevin: lol dude i was thinking the same thing. is that wrong? Casey: never Kevin: she’s fighting for social justice and government reform and shit Kevin: and we’re just thinking about…
Getting the Word Out
During the spring of 2008, my local library held a massive book sale. Hundreds of books were spread out in the courtyard by the rear entrance, on sale for as many as you could fit into a grocery-sized paper bag for five dollars. Among this bounty of undervalued books, I found and purchased an old,…
Casanova KZ
For as long as we’ve been dating, Diana has complained that I hardly ever write about her in my blog. “Why don’t you write about how wonderful your girlfriend is?” she asks me periodically. “You can write pages about all of your ex-girlfriends or about how you’re pining over some girl, but you never write…