One of the earliest lessons that I learned as an aspiring writer is that the key to writing well is never losing your nerve. Although writers are separated from their audiences by distances of time, proofreading, and revisions, there is an undeniable element of performance in the act of writing which can make a writer feel like an actor approaching a stage every time he sits down to face an empty page. Writing something worthwhile during every creative session demands both discipline, and a healthy dose of confidence to roll through the rough patches before you settle into your groove and get it right. To write well is to always believe that you will find your stride. Writer’s block is the opposite of swagger, the absence of stride. Writer’s block is a fear to begin, or a fear to proceed. It is the writer’s equivalent of stage fright. How can a writer hope to succeed if he allows the fear to unravel the might of his mind?
How indeed, my friends.
Here I stand in the final quarter of 2010 after promising in January to write a novel within a year. I suspected from the start that this might have been an overly ambitious promise to make, but it was the kind of promise that needed to be made after years of ambivalence, good intentions, and inaction. All year long in 2010, I’ve genuinely tried. I continue to try, and yet I’ve been stuck on the first paragraphs of the opening pages since day one. I’m running out of excuses, and I’ve lost some confidence in the premise of my story. Maybe it’s time to bid my old story goodbye, and to start again on something new. I just need to find a way to regain my nerve, and to try again. Maybe I’ll find what I’m looking for on a different stage.
And who knows? Maybe this time around, my cat, Momo, will actually jump his furry orange ass off of my writing journal, and let me get something done for once. Freaking cats. Is it too late to redact my previous comments, and to just blame everything on Momo? I’m pretty sure he’s been the reason for my writer’s block in 2010.
I swear, guys. Just give me until the end of 2011, and I’ll blow you away with something special.
Why don’t you write a children’s book about Momo? It’s still a book!
I was cheering you on and punching your shoulder giving you encouragement and then I saw Momo and his paw and all of that encouragement went right out the window.
What a cute, kitty! The paw, the arm, the whiskers! Man, that’s one cool cat.
I wish I had a cat.
Oh, right. Uh, good luck on the book, you can do it, you’re a rock star!
Momo is a ridiculously cute cat. He gets away with a lot more crap than he should just because of it. Don’t you have a dog, Cariogirl? I’m sure they can be just as rewarding, if not higher maintenance.
Anyhow, thanks for the support! But I think we all know that you’re the true rock star here.
As you know, I just love dogs, but I already have three kids. Not that they’re as high maintenance as a dog,
but if the shoe fits…Sweet, we can be dueling rock stars. We’ll do a joint concert and have screeching guitar solo competitions. The fans will go wild and we’ll lose 10 lbs. during every concert.
You may not be concerned with the weight loss aspects of the concert but I would enjoy jumping around stage kicking my foot in front of me like Angus Young of AC/DC while showcasing my Converse low tops.
Crystal, I’m not sure children would want to read the kind of books that i would write about Momo. I’m just saying…
Writer’s block bites. You know, you could always dip Momo’s paws in ink and let him write the book. Just a thought…
As funny as it might be to watch Momo deal with ink on his paws, I wouldn’t want to be around afterward for the cleanup. We have light carpet here in the apartment.
One of the earliest lessons that I learned as an aspiring porn star is that the key to sexing well is never losing your nerve. Although writers are separated from their audiences by distances of time, flatulence, and anal warts, there is an undeniable element of performance in the act of sexing which can make a porn star feel like a real actor approaching a stage every time he sits down to face another vagina. Blowing something worthwhile during every creative session demands both discipline, and a healthy dose of confidence to roll through the rough patches before you settle into your groove and get it hard. To fuck well is to always believe that will find your stride. Impotence is the opposite of swagger, the absence of stride. A limp dick is a fear to begin, or a fear to proceed. It is the porn stars’ equivalent of stage fright. How can a porn star hope to succeed if he allows the fear to unravel the might of his mind?
Haha so it’s come to this, huh? I am truly honored that somebody has taken the time to pervert my words so thoroughly. Can I expect more of this soon, Joie?
Can’t wait to read your novel. You are destined to write something mind blowing. Can’t wait, STAY FOCUSED. 🙂
Thanks, Monique. I appreciate it. 🙂
As a “professional” writer, I can tell you that discipline helps with writing. Confidence, too. Gin and tonics are also useful, as is therapy, and a soft pillow into which you can sob.
Ahoy, Mike. I appreciate the comment. Discipline is definitely something that I could use more of as a writer. In fact, I could benefit from a healthy addition of discipline to all aspects of my life. Then again, maybe my problem has been a lack of gin and tonics. Also, I’ll definitely have to look into finding my own sobbing pillow. Here I was, sobbing into my sleeves like a chump this entire time.