I love it when business people treat me like I’m one of them. Some guy I met at a party last night nearly creamed himself when I told him that I graduated with an accounting degree. Because you see, he and I understand how the economy works, and how the inner mechanics of a company all fit together. In this world, there are two kinds of people: the staffers, and the shot-callers. The staffers contribute directly to the bottom line, while the big men tell them exactly how to do it.
He was talking a good game about how the amount of success you enjoy in business is directly related to your ability to bullshit. “It’s confidence,” he’d say. It’s all about putting on a good show, but also knowing when to admit your faults in order to become a more efficient businessman. Everywhere he goes, he’s gotta network—shaking hands, repeating the URL for his own business’ website a half dozen times, and always keeping his eyes open for a new prospect on that green horizon. He swears against mixing business with pleasure, which I found ironic since he seemed far more interested in spewing business rhetoric at me than he was about the beer in his own right hand.
I know it’s more than likely that I’ll end up in the business world, associating with guys like this by the truckload. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. The whole game seems so feeble and downright ridiculous. All I know is, when I do finally sell my soul, I hope to retain at least a few threads of my humanity.
Okay, now let the games begin. Money! Fuck yeah!
I am so sorry. I met a guy like that at this place where I took my car to get an oil-change. Not only did he babble to me about econimics, but he also continuously bragged about his spankin’ new Lexus, his awesome mobile phone, his flat-screen TV…He had nothing to talk about, other than economy and STUFF. The tragedy of this man was worthy of a Theban Play