On Wednesday afternoon, while I was busy at work, Diana sent me a text message in order to update me on the status of our cats, Momo and Maddie. Words were said, typos resulted, one thing led to another, and by Wednesday evening, Diana learned a valuable lesson about the need to proofread her SMS messages before sending them my way.
Author: KZ
To Gain and Lose
Life is a seamless collection of hellos and goodbyes. They stitch together the totality of our days, and they have a way of tearing us apart until nothing remains but memories, and the hollow sting of lingering regret. The start of each new day brings the promise of a thousand hellos — thousands of first…
At the Risk of Drawing Attention to Myself…
Call me a killjoy and a grump if you must, but my mind is made up. Birthdays are overrated. That’s not to say that I get down on anybody who actually enjoys celebrating their own birthday. Hell, everybody deserves a chance to celebrate themselves on occasion. Speaking for myself, though, I would be perfectly content…
The Answer (Conversation with God Continued)
KEVIN: God?
GOD: Yes?
KEVIN: What is the meaning of life? I want to know the truth. Please don’t feed me some horseshit answer that will only reinforce my resentment and my disdain. What the hell is the point?
Weapons of Jazz Destruction
As you might have guessed from my previous posts, I live in a neighborhood full of douchebags and assholes. Unfortunately for them, I am well versed in the ways of the asshole. Okay, that sentence came out kind of wrong. Let me try again. Unfortunately for the assholes in my neighborhood, I am well versed…
Good Night, Gentle Dreamers
I can’t sleep tonight. Maybe you could blame it on insomnia, or on the pain from my injured ankle. Or maybe you could blame it on the six-hour nap that I took when I crashed out after eating dinner. What the hell do I know? I’m not a sleep doctor. Oh well. There are far…
The Conundrum of Human Empathy
With so many people in the world with real problems, it occurs to me that the only reason why I care about my frivolous little concerns is because they happen to be my own.
With Friends Like These…
On Thursday afternoon, my friend, Joie, sent me a text message to ask me how I was faring with my bum leg. I wrote out a transcript of the conversation below. As you will soon discover, both Joie and I are absolute delights. Joie: Hey gimpy. How’s the foot? Hope you’re not in too much…
Do These Crutches Make My Swollen Ankle Look Fat?
Well, that sucked. I messed up my right ankle pretty badly last Saturday while playing paintball. I was running and gunning, and I failed to notice a patch of uneven terrain, and I rolled my ankle during a full-on sprint. It hurt like hell, but I made it to my bunker and played on for…
Visions of the Collective Breath
I lament the loss of diminishing vision, but what is it I’m supposed to be seeing? I glimpse those enticing sights feathering along the breeze, dancing at heights just beyond my reach. They brush the tips of my naked paws and taunt my rudimentary processes of thought before I can snatch them greedily within my…