Do These Crutches Make My Swollen Ankle Look Fat?

Well, that sucked. I messed up my right ankle pretty badly last Saturday while playing paintball. I was running and gunning, and I failed to notice a patch of uneven terrain, and I rolled my ankle during a full-on sprint. It hurt like hell, but I made it to my bunker and played on for another three minutes until the game was over. That was my last game of the day.

At first, I didn’t think much of the injury because I was still able to walk around and bear weight on my right foot. But as the afternoon rolled on, my ankle began to swell up, and I started having to walk with a limp. Later that evening while I was resting at home, I started to alternate between crawling on my hands and knees, and hopping around on one foot. Gleefully, my girlfriend, Diana, started to alternate between calling me “Gimpy”, “Little Bunny Foo Foo”, and “Hopalong Cassidy”. That was kind of a dick move on Diana’s part, but I have to admit that I probably had it coming.

Since Saturday, I have been in and out of various medical facilities, had numerous x-rays taken, sat through an hour-long MRI session, and had my leg wrapped and re-wrapped inside a fiberglass splint a handful of times. To be honest, all of this medical attention feels like a massive overreaction. I could be wrong, of course. I’m still waiting to hear back from the ankle specialist regarding the results of my MRI.

All week long, I’ve been stuck in a weird limbo. I can’t drive to work because I’m supposed to keep my right ankle as immobile as possible. My parents have been nice enough to drive me to my doctor appointments in the afternoons, but their schedules don’t allow them to drive me to and from work on a daily basis. Aside from that, I have basically been “on call” every day this week because my podiatrist office has a strange inability to schedule appointments any further in advance than a single afternoon. This week, while I haven’t been at the doctor’s office, I’ve been sitting at home catching up on my reading, clearing off my Netflix instant queue, and grudgingly accepting Diana’s generous and attentive care. Contrary to popular belief, there actually is an element of romance and nurture in our relationship.

So here we are again. I’ve gone and sustained an unheroic leg injury while pursuing my quirky, expensive hobby. I just need to rest, take care of myself, and make sure my ankle heals correctly. On the bright side, at least I get to spend more quality time with my books, my unwatched movies, my girlfriend, and my awesome red penguin pajamas.