Just in case you needed a reminder: I’m kind of a sarcastic bastard. So long, 2012. It’s been real.
Category: Conversations
More Fun with the Mirror Universe
In my previous post, I introduced you to Mono and Mad Die, my cats’ evil dopplegangers in the Mirror Universe. Much to the chagrin of my typo-inclined girlfriend, Diana, the saga continues.
Diana Loves Me in the Mirror Universe
On Wednesday afternoon, while I was busy at work, Diana sent me a text message in order to update me on the status of our cats, Momo and Maddie. Words were said, typos resulted, one thing led to another, and by Wednesday evening, Diana learned a valuable lesson about the need to proofread her SMS messages before sending them my way.
The Answer (Conversation with God Continued)
KEVIN: God?
GOD: Yes?
KEVIN: What is the meaning of life? I want to know the truth. Please don’t feed me some horseshit answer that will only reinforce my resentment and my disdain. What the hell is the point?
With Friends Like These…
On Thursday afternoon, my friend, Joie, sent me a text message to ask me how I was faring with my bum leg. I wrote out a transcript of the conversation below. As you will soon discover, both Joie and I are absolute delights. Joie: Hey gimpy. How’s the foot? Hope you’re not in too much…
All Work and No Paintball Makes KZ Insufferable
Like I said in my previous post, I injured my hamstring while playing paintball recently, and now I’m stuck with a bum leg and a wicked limp for the next month and a half. Tonight while sorting my laundry, I pulled my paintball jersey out of the pile of clean clothing, and I put it…
Feminism vs. Femininity
Remember how I was telling you before about the merits of daydreaming during a boring conversation with your girlfriend? Today was one of those days when I had no choice but to space out during one of Diana’s endless rants about the hot summer weather. Diana had started off by complaining about the heat, but…
Bearing Witness (Conversation with God Continued)
KEVIN: All I’m saying is, miracles aren’t as spectacular as they used to be. Back then, virgins and sterile old women got pregnant; an entire sea split apart so that the Israelites could escape the Egyptians; and hell, dead people were even resurrected. That all supposedly happened over two thousand years ago. And, I might add, the only ones who were around to witness these events were the kind of people who stoned adulterers to death. Are you telling me those ignorant antiques made reliable witnesses to biblical miracles?
“Abbott & Costello” Ain’t Got Nothing on “Dawn & KZ”
This is how the conversation went, to the best of my recollection. This is probably the last time that Dawn will ask me to do her a favor. Dawn: Can you remind me to take my sewing machine home when we come back to your place tonight? Kevin: Hey Dawn, don’t forget to take your…
Pettiness Is an Art Form
Edric had some choice words to say about my previous blog entry. Little did he know that he was making the wrong choice when he decided to raise up on KZ without provocation. Edric: that was disappointing. too much hype, not enough substance. i was expecting something funnier. Kevin: i was expecting you to be…