Christmas has meant many different things to me over the years as my beliefs and worldview have changed. Yet there has been one constant which has always stayed with me ever since the age of nine: My contempt for Santa Claus. If I were a comic book super villain, my origin story would probably begin…
Category: Humor
The B-Day Supreme
Friday the 10th was Joie’s birthday. She asked all of her friends not to buy any gifts for her this year. She did, however, encourage us to put forth some creative effort and to make something for her if we truly felt compelled to give her a present. On Friday night, two hours before I…
Inside Thoughts
Raise your hand high if you’re like me, and you suffer from an excess of irrepressible “inside thoughts”. I’m not talking about your usual stream of consciousness, the standard train of thought that never seems to disembark. Thinking is what the brain does, and it is either unable or unwilling to cease its idle thinking…
Winning Without Trying
Recently one weekend, while Diana and I were driving home after running some errands, we got into the usual argument over which radio station we were going to listen to. At some point, I relented and let Diana choose the music. Even though Diana eventually got her way, I’d still like to think I came…
Messages from the Dark
Inexplicably, I woke up this morning with a large scratch running lengthwise down my chest and stomach. It wasn’t there before I went to bed last night. My friends, if you didn’t believe me before about the authenticity of my previous ghost wound, then get a load of this. Yeah, yeah, I know — I’m…
“Abbott & Costello” Ain’t Got Nothing on “Dawn & KZ”
This is how the conversation went, to the best of my recollection. This is probably the last time that Dawn will ask me to do her a favor. Dawn: Can you remind me to take my sewing machine home when we come back to your place tonight? Kevin: Hey Dawn, don’t forget to take your…
Couplehood KZ Style
There are few greater sins in the tenets of romantic love than complacency. My lovely girlfriend, Diana, reminds me of this truth seemingly on a daily basis. Numerous times now during our six-year relationship, Diana has asked me to set aside my sarcasm and my obnoxious humor for one single blog post, and to proclaim…
Petty Grievances Continued
I guess it’s no secret that I like to complain. Sure, I’ve been known to build things up on occasion during upswings of optimism. But at heart, I’m just a cantankerous old crank who fixates on the tiniest of gripes — the pettiest of grievances. I am all too aware that the world is full…
Nice Try, Gary
This dollar bill traveled all the way from Phoenix, Arizona to San Jose, California. Normally, I’m not the kind of person who gets excited over money tracking projects like Where’s George, but I feel a strong need to report the whereabouts of a particularly special dollar bill that I came across today. There are some…
Facking Fail
Just a while ago, a community outreach program in my resident city gathered a bunch of volunteers to paint over the graffiti in my neighborhood. The neighborhood was a better place for it, but I have to admit that I was little sad to say goodbye to the muralistic masterpiece behind my apartment building, which…