For those of you who haven’t yet heard, Diana and I got engaged back in September. People have been asking me to tell them the story about how I popped the question, but there’s really not much to tell. It was a simple proposal. I took Diana to the local pub, pulled out my bat’leth,…
Category: Humor
More Fun with the Mirror Universe
In my previous post, I introduced you to Mono and Mad Die, my cats’ evil dopplegangers in the Mirror Universe. Much to the chagrin of my typo-inclined girlfriend, Diana, the saga continues.
Diana Loves Me in the Mirror Universe
On Wednesday afternoon, while I was busy at work, Diana sent me a text message in order to update me on the status of our cats, Momo and Maddie. Words were said, typos resulted, one thing led to another, and by Wednesday evening, Diana learned a valuable lesson about the need to proofread her SMS messages before sending them my way.
Weapons of Jazz Destruction
As you might have guessed from my previous posts, I live in a neighborhood full of douchebags and assholes. Unfortunately for them, I am well versed in the ways of the asshole. Okay, that sentence came out kind of wrong. Let me try again. Unfortunately for the assholes in my neighborhood, I am well versed…
All Work and No Paintball Makes KZ Insufferable
Like I said in my previous post, I injured my hamstring while playing paintball recently, and now I’m stuck with a bum leg and a wicked limp for the next month and a half. Tonight while sorting my laundry, I pulled my paintball jersey out of the pile of clean clothing, and I put it…
Feminism vs. Femininity
Remember how I was telling you before about the merits of daydreaming during a boring conversation with your girlfriend? Today was one of those days when I had no choice but to space out during one of Diana’s endless rants about the hot summer weather. Diana had started off by complaining about the heat, but…
Things That Probably Only Bother Me
I might have only recently turned thirty years old this year back in the month of May, but I was a crotchety old man who was confused by the world long before I grew up to become the lame, overweight, khaki-wearing accountant who stands before you today. Although I’ve never been shy about voicing my…
A Special Birthday Greeting for a Special Lady
Monday the 23rd was Diana’s birthday. Every year, she tells me not to get her flowers because she thinks they’re impractical and needlessly expensive, but I decided this year to pick her up a modest, reasonably priced bouquet. In addition to that, I also picked up two birthday cards for Diana. Actually, to be more…
Considerations for Your Parting Words
Have you ever given much thought to what your final words might be? I think about that subject a little more often than I probably should. It’s not as though I find myself overly preoccupied with death lately. I just happen to be suffering through an obnoxious obsession with significance. Am I the only one…
The Rules of Love
Thoughts of love are an inevitable thing this time of year for all of those who busy themselves with the February rituals of Valentine’s Day. I don’t mind telling you that I happen to be one of those people. There was a time not long ago when I was alone, and I longed for the day to find somebody to love — a girl whom I could call my own. I found that special somebody nearly seven years ago, and I’ve never let her go since then. What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m also something of a sap if you really want to know the truth.