This weekend, while eating lunch at a Taco Bell, a stranger approached me when he noticed my copy of Don Quixote resting on the table. It was his favorite book, he told me, and he dutifully reads it once a year. I was tempted to ask him if he also enjoyed BDSM and cutting himself,…
Letting it Be
On the drive home today, I noticed a truck bearing a bumper sticker that tells the world to “Pray the Rosary for Peace.” I don’t mean to sound fatalistic, but wouldn’t you think that Mary pretty much gets it at this point? And for that matter, don’t you think she’s had enough time to notify…
Jack’s Dilemma
Kevin: the problem with studying to music is sometimes you pay more attention to one as opposed to the other Jack: Yeah, that’s the problem I have when I’m having sex with two girls.
Oh Hell No
The response letter from Richard: Kevin, Calm down dude (or woman cuz you sound like one, or you must be gay, not that there is anything wrong with that! [Seinfeld reference if you caught that joke]). The email was all a joke (hooray for me!!!). My bad for forgetting to finish my email with a…
“Only in San Francisco” Moments
Priceless experiences outside the classroom. People actually stopping me to ask for directions when I’m obviously lost at all times. Get a clue, people. I might as well have “tourist” or “mug me” tattooed on my face. Witnessing a man in a collared shirt and tie taking a leak while he stood on a high-traffic…
My Life As a Hermit
Law school will change my life. I don’t mean that in some spiritual or metaphysical sense. I mean, it will effectively change the way I live my life. Up until this point, I’ve been a lazy bum. Since I finished undergrad in June 2003, I’ve been bumming around and working part time at a retail-clothing…
Oh Crap
KZ a lawyer? Nah, he doesn’t have the disposition for it. He’s not aggressive enough. He’s even kind of a slacker, if you really want to hear the truth. Well guess what, suckers? It’s true. Law school starts on Wednesday, August 11th for me. And you know what? I’m terrified. I hardly knew at the…
Friday, I’m in Love
And I truly am.
Fuck Off, Cops
Pulling me over and giving me a speeding ticket when I’m less than a block away from my house? I feel safer already, you fucking assholes in hats. You get no love or sympathy from me when your asses are shot down by criminals. As far as I’m concerned, putting your life in danger every…
Stream of Consciousness
Friend: you guys gonna bang? Kevin: “i’m shelling out 9 bucks, so she’d better put out” Friend: lol Kevin: we’re probably not going to bang Friend: swine Kevin: wha?? Kevin: oh right, the 9 bucks commment Kevin: see, i take so little accountability for the shit i say Kevin: it’s all disconnected from me as…