What strikes me as incredibly funny is the fact that everybody (and I mean everybody) has his or her own imitation of the female voice. It’s amusing to hear the way men mimic the women in their lives. Almost invariably, they’ll contort their faces and speak in the most exaggerated, high-pitched, and antagonistic screech imaginable….
A Conversation I’d Love to Witness
Blasphemer: There’s no such thing as a hell. Believer: Yes there is. Blasphemer: Says who? Believer: Says God. It’s in the Bible. Blasphemer: [Pulls out a piece of paper and writes on it. Hands the paper to Believer.] Here, read this. Believer: What is it? [Examines the paper, which reads, “There is no hell.”] What…
This Is Real Life
I feel an odd sense of peace, and I wonder how long it will last. I feel determined to write, intent on creation, and hopeful and even slightly unconcerned about the future. That’s not to say that I’m blindly casting my fate to the wind, nor have I totally abandoned the idea of looking for…
Ugh
By the way, I’ve learned a very important lesson this weekend: Schnapps of any variety is not my friend. I thought it was just the peppermint crap that was trouble, but oh no…it’s all bad. Ah, the joys of being a lightweight.
I’m a Clever, Clever Rat
Crystal: sometimes i just want to say, screw it! Kevin: say it Kevin: then run off to seattle Crystal: Screw it!!! Kevin: nice Kevin: now we gotta get you packed Crystal: 🙂 that felt good 🙂 Kevin: lol Crystal: hehe, you’ll have to come with me Kevin: i’ll definitely come with you Crystal: then we…
On Bloodletting and the Art of Verse
Go ahead and bleed your meaning away may it seep in streams and as it falls in bulbous beads don’t you dare allow it to clot for a scab would mean the death of diminishing vision.
A Horse Is a Horse
Call me insensitive or maybe a tad unsentimental (as if that were a just description), but I don’t understand people’s fascination with racehorses. A few months ago, sportscasters were hyping up some horse named Funny Cide and how he might win the Triple Crown. Forgive me, but I found that pointless. And now we’ve got…
The Strong Silent Type
It’s 2am, and the club has closed. Outside, while everybody else is walking to their cars, my friends decide to join a swarm of horny and expectant guys mobbing two incredibly hot chicks that are shamelessly enjoying the attention. Yes, the girls are hot, but they’re obviously stringing the guys along because it’s fun to…
A Plague on Both Your Houses?
Conrado: what are you afraid of? Kevin: failure, the dark, and sometimes God Conrado: so you’re scared of uncertainty? Kevin: i think so Kevin: and you? Conrado: i’m scared of the dark, infinity, and being normal Kevin: being normal is definitely a fear of mine as well Kevin: but we can’t all be superstars Kevin:…
Moded
So I was driving in a residential neighborhood while bumping a 2Pac song with my windows down. I pulled my practical family sedan up to an intersection, stopped at the stop sign, and then I felt somebody looking at me. So I looked to my left, and there stood a little boy, no older than…