All I really have to say this Christmas is this: Santa Claus is a dick. As you may already know, I believe that the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer strikes the wrong tone for the holidays, and it sends entirely the wrong message. The Rankin/Bass animated Christmas special based on that story doesn’t fare much better, either.
Don’t believe me? I invite you to see for yourself below. This is an old video, but it’s still funny, and forever relevant. Watch your ass, Santa. You are officially on my list.
Well, it’s a fat guy who breaks into your house and eats any cookies or milk you may have accidentally left out. Sure, he brings your “good” kids toys and whatnot (which is disturbing on it’s own), but according to the German tradition, he is also the man who invites the hooded guy into your house to beat any “naughty” children. I mean, come on, who lets a stranger in to beat their kid? Wtf is up with that!? What do you honestly expect from someone with such terrible morals?