I didn’t plan on writing about the Super Bowl this year, but I heard something during a commercial break that honestly offended me. What clown working for the Fox Broadcasting Company thought it would be a good idea to play U2’s “Sunday Bloody Sunday” over a montage of football players making plays? Bloody Sunday was…
Category: Complaints
So…Would that Make the Kid Half Jewish?
There’s something that’s been bothering me since my days as a student in Catholic elementary school. I guess you could call it a theological question, but I’d be more inclined to classify it as a matter of common sense. And maybe this is an issue that only bothers me, but I have to say that…
A Good Start
One minor annoyance I have with being a law student is that everybody always makes the same comment once they find out that I’m a lawyer in training: “Hey Kev, if I’m in trouble in a few years, you’ll represent me, right?” Har har. It gets funnier the twentieth time you hear it. Quite honestly,…
On Bad Legal Writing
Z, K., Law Student. I, Kevin Z, a law student, am writing this statement at 12:30pm on the fourteenth of October 2004. Did I mention that I’m sitting on my behind? Well, to ease your mind, you ought to know that I am indeed sitting on said body part, hitherto referred to as “behind,” and…
Fuck Off, Cops
Pulling me over and giving me a speeding ticket when I’m less than a block away from my house? I feel safer already, you fucking assholes in hats. You get no love or sympathy from me when your asses are shot down by criminals. As far as I’m concerned, putting your life in danger every…
Save That Talk for Your First Gray Hair or Something
A new pet peeve of mine that’s been gradually developing over the years is when people in their early twenties proclaim to be old every time they yawn in the evening before 10:00pm. Whatever happened to enjoying your youth? People are so eager to shrivel up and bury themselves long before it’s their time. Let’s…
Blasphemy Revisited
What’s all this crap we’re hearing about Alabama? In a largely symbolic gesture, some courthouse in Alabama was ordered by US federal courts to remove a tall, granite monument of the Ten Commandments from the lobby. Predictably, this pissed off plenty of Christians, who have resolved to set things right and to get that TWO…
Random Complaints (The “Things That Suck” List)
Oversleeping on a weekday and then subsequently hauling ass in order to attend a class that bores the hell out of you. 50 Cent. Seriously, he’s the most overrated thing since sliced bread. “I love you like a fat kid love cake.” Wow man, profound. I guess I can throw out all of my 2Pac…
Nitpicking
I’m no cartographer, nor am I a computer programmer, but I do know a thing or two about local geography when it comes to city streets. I just referred to Mapquest for driving instructions to my brother’s work, which seem straightforward enough. So long as I drive my hydrogen-powered, emission-free flying car, I should have…
Songs for Sale
The state of commercialism reached a new low recently when Victoria’s Secret started to run a lingerie ad featuring Bob Dylan’s “Love Sick.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t immediately think of sex and seduction when I think of that guy. But what’s worse than this questionable juxtaposition of Dylan and scantily clad…