Prosaic Shades of Gray Prosaic Shades of Gray

Copper: The Lifeblood of Lincoln

Posted on February 12, 2013February 21, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 12: “The day I met Abraham Lincoln”
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Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president of the United States of America, is a towering giant of history who demands respect. Why then, I ask you, have we Americans placed his face on the one cent penny, the smallest and most disposable denomination in our currency system? I mean seriously, is there a more disappointing sight than Lincoln’s face shown in side profile on a field of copper? Lincoln deserves so much better than to have his legacy tarnished by junk currency.

The United Strip Malls of America

Posted on February 11, 2013October 13, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 11: “Road Trip”
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Sometimes I think the United States should rename itself the “United Strip Malls of America”. No matter where you travel within the contiguous forty-eight states, you’re bound to notice the uniform effect of the Twentieth Century’s grand homogenization of the great American landscape. On countless roads in most developed parts of the country, all you’ll see as you drive around this sprawling nation are parking lots, open-air shopping centers, franchised restaurant chains, and the occasional cluster of gas stations.

John Mayer for Mayor

Posted on February 10, 2013October 13, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 10: “The Mayor”
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Sometime in the early 2000s, back when singer-songwriter John Mayer first started to gain commercial success on the American music scene, a good friend of mine confided in me to explain why she disliked John Mayer. “I don’t hate his music or anything.” she told me. “His songs are all right, and he’s actually not a bad musician. It’s just that, well — he creeps me out. He eats babies.”

Call Me a Messenger

Posted on February 9, 2013October 13, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 9: “15 minutes”
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They say the course of an entire lifetime can change in the span of fifteen minutes. During that final moment of violence in Ben’s unremarkable life, I imagine he required no longer than just a few seconds to take his aim and fire. I don’t really know for sure, because I wasn’t there. I suspect it had been a very long time since anybody had come around to check on Ben.

All Things French

Posted on February 8, 2013October 13, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 8: “French”
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I don’t mean to get all “Ugly American” up in here, but I don’t dedicate nearly enough thought to France or Quebec on a daily basis in order to form any intelligent opinions about all things French. Nonetheless, here goes…

Of Text Messages and Dopplegangers

Posted on February 7, 2013October 12, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 7: “Texting”
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I was tempted to repost my Mirror Universe entries for today’s “Texting” prompt, but then I remembered that I’ve been sitting on a gem of a text messaging story for over three years now.

Some Grand Revelation (Conversation with God Continued)

Posted on February 6, 2013October 12, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 6: “Haven”
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KEVIN: I wish you would just give me a straight answer.

GOD: About what?

KEVIN: Well, about most things. About anything. Why does every conversation with you feel like a game of theological dodge ball?

Bottled Water Blurbs

Posted on February 5, 2013October 13, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 5: “You better put out”
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Something has always bothered me about the labeling on certain brands of bottled water. A number of water bottles proudly proclaim right on the label, “This is a low sodium beverage”. Low sodium, huh? No shit. I’m glad somebody finally set the record straight. Now I can stop drinking cans of chicken broth to hydrate myself.

To Gain and Lose (Reposted)

Posted on February 4, 2013October 12, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 4: “Friendship”
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Life is a seamless collection of hellos and goodbyes. They stitch together the totality of our days, and they have a way of tearing us apart until nothing remains but memories, and the hollow sting of lingering regret. The start of each new day brings the promise of a thousand hellos — thousands of first times and anxious introductions. Yet just beneath the surface of every meaningful meeting lies the inevitability of loss, heartache, and a bitter farewell, whether by death, or by some trivial variant of a piddling manmade catastrophe. Even so, despite the promise of pain, we dare each day to put our hearts on the line with a fresh set of ill-fated beginnings.

The Giant Crab Dream

Posted on February 3, 2013April 23, 2022 by KZ

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing

Day 3: “And the next thing I knew”
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Many years ago, my fiancée, Diana, had a nightmare about being chased by a giant crab. She told me about this dream back in the earliest days of our relationship when we were still in our initial dating phase. The worst part about Diana’s crab nightmare is that she has no recollection of ever dreaming it. She is, of course, completely full of crap.