Christmas has meant many different things to me over the years as my beliefs and worldview have changed. Yet there has been one constant which has always stayed with me ever since the age of nine: My contempt for Santa Claus. If I were a comic book super villain, my origin story would probably begin…
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Winning Without Trying
Recently one weekend, while Diana and I were driving home after running some errands, we got into the usual argument over which radio station we were going to listen to. At some point, I relented and let Diana choose the music. Even though Diana eventually got her way, I’d still like to think I came…
Lessons Learned from a Broken Blog
I broke my blog late last week while attempting to enhance the layout template. At the lowest point, my homepage was taking twelve agonizing seconds to load, and the comment box would send you to a blank error page when you clicked the submit button. The worst of it, though, came when I rushed through…
“Abbott & Costello” Ain’t Got Nothing on “Dawn & KZ”
This is how the conversation went, to the best of my recollection. This is probably the last time that Dawn will ask me to do her a favor. Dawn: Can you remind me to take my sewing machine home when we come back to your place tonight? Kevin: Hey Dawn, don’t forget to take your…
That’s Right, I Said “Boo”
With October nearly upon us, my thoughts inevitably turn to all things Halloween. I’ve resigned my fate to a month full of weekends visiting the holiday haunts. I’m also trying my best to reconcile those plans of mine to lose fifteen pounds, versus my expectations of eating fifteen pounds of chocolate over the next four…
This Is the Way it Begins
Much of this life is tinged with misdirection, mistaken notions, unconscious resentment dressed in justified indignance, as if the validity of civil rage were any better than the ferocious roars of primal urge. We monsters of monstrous insignificance, blips of uncertain near-certainties, existing by the nature of collapsed intention, explosions and collisions of particles gathered…
Couplehood KZ Style
There are few greater sins in the tenets of romantic love than complacency. My lovely girlfriend, Diana, reminds me of this truth seemingly on a daily basis. Numerous times now during our six-year relationship, Diana has asked me to set aside my sarcasm and my obnoxious humor for one single blog post, and to proclaim…
The Stranger Inside
One of my favorite stand-up comedians, Emo Philips, tells a relatively benign joke that kind of creeps me out whenever I think about it: “I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.” The connection between the brain, consciousness, and human…
Someday Soon
I can’t wait. One day far or near into the future, my words will be re-spoken, awakening a memory of significance in motion, salvation through a Creator of my choice, and followers will find meaning through my ludicrous insistence, instances of miracles and revelations which awaken old passions and which dull the inner cries, independent…
Diana Has No Sense of Humor
I have a story for you, but there are two things you should know first. (1) I hate redundant language. I hate it when people say “tuna fish”, or “PIN number”, for example. What used to bother me most of all, though, was when people said “ATM machine”. I mean come on, really? “Automatic Teller…