30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 16: “Music”
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Recently one weekend, while Diana and I were driving home after running some errands, we got into the usual argument over which radio station we were going to listen to. At some point, I relented and let Diana choose the music. Even though Diana eventually got her way, I’d still like to think I came out ahead during this particular exchange. This was the day that I won without even trying.
Category: Humor
Shopping Bags and Domestic Spats
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 15: “Or else”
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There is a citywide ordinance in San Jose, California which bans retailers from issuing plastic carryout bags to customers. This requires shoppers in San Jose to either carry around reusable shopping bags, or to buy a recycled paper bag at each store for a token fee. While I appreciate the fact that San Jose is attempting to be environmentally responsible with this ordinance, I do have to point out that the plastic bag ban has resulted in a sharp increase of frustrating domestic spats.
Copper: The Lifeblood of Lincoln
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 12: “The day I met Abraham Lincoln”
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Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president of the United States of America, is a towering giant of history who demands respect. Why then, I ask you, have we Americans placed his face on the one cent penny, the smallest and most disposable denomination in our currency system? I mean seriously, is there a more disappointing sight than Lincoln’s face shown in side profile on a field of copper? Lincoln deserves so much better than to have his legacy tarnished by junk currency.
John Mayer for Mayor
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 10: “The Mayor”
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Sometime in the early 2000s, back when singer-songwriter John Mayer first started to gain commercial success on the American music scene, a good friend of mine confided in me to explain why she disliked John Mayer. “I don’t hate his music or anything.” she told me. “His songs are all right, and he’s actually not a bad musician. It’s just that, well — he creeps me out. He eats babies.”
All Things French
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 8: “French”
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I don’t mean to get all “Ugly American” up in here, but I don’t dedicate nearly enough thought to France or Quebec on a daily basis in order to form any intelligent opinions about all things French. Nonetheless, here goes…
Of Text Messages and Dopplegangers
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 7: “Texting”
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I was tempted to repost my Mirror Universe entries for today’s “Texting” prompt, but then I remembered that I’ve been sitting on a gem of a text messaging story for over three years now.
Bottled Water Blurbs
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 5: “You better put out”
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Something has always bothered me about the labeling on certain brands of bottled water. A number of water bottles proudly proclaim right on the label, “This is a low sodium beverage”. Low sodium, huh? No shit. I’m glad somebody finally set the record straight. Now I can stop drinking cans of chicken broth to hydrate myself.
The Giant Crab Dream
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing
Day 3: “And the next thing I knew”
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Many years ago, my fiancĂ©e, Diana, had a nightmare about being chased by a giant crab. She told me about this dream back in the earliest days of our relationship when we were still in our initial dating phase. The worst part about Diana’s crab nightmare is that she has no recollection of ever dreaming it. She is, of course, completely full of crap.
My Finest Moment of 2012
Just in case you needed a reminder: I’m kind of a sarcastic bastard. So long, 2012. It’s been real.
KZ’s Very Un-Merry List of Christmas Music Complaints
I’d like to think of myself as a happy guy, but I do have to admit that I can occasionally be something of a Grinch. I did once say in a previous blog entry, “Santa Claus can go F himself in the A“. He still can, by the way. So maybe I am a Grinch. But you ought to know that this Grinch’s small heart has grown three sizes after hearing a chorus of earnest Whos singing in unison to welcome the Holiday season. That’s right, kids, it’s Christmas time.